What does enabling an alcoholic mean? It is important to keep in mind that many alcohol dependent individuals do not realize their drinking has gotten out of control. In many cases, it is the objective voice of a friend or family member that brings the problem to the individual's attention. It is important that family members and friends do not cover-up for the alcoholic by making excuses for problem behavior, or by trying to conceal the problem. This is typically referred to as "enabling", generally only making the problem worse, because the alcoholic is allowed to maintain the illusion that there is no problem. Instead of covering up for and "enabling" the alcoholic, family members and friends should try to help the alcoholic recognize the destructive effects of their problem, and provide the support necessary to guide the alcoholic toward treatment.
Did you know that 68 percent of teens said they would turn to a friend or family member about a serious problem related to substance abuse? This means that when you talk, your friends and family will listen - even if you've tried drugs or alcohol yourself. Don't underestimate your own power to influence your loved one and explain to them how you see their alcohol use getting out of hand. Sure, it may have been their choice to start drinking in the first place, and you may be scared that your friend or loved one will get mad at you and tell you that their choices are none of your business. But if you really think your loved one needs help, you have a responsibility to them - and your relationship - to step up and say something. By not talking with your loved one about your concerns, you are only sending them the silent message that their alcohol use is no big deal and in a way that you approve of it and will continue to help them destroy their lives.
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Remember, even though you think you may be helping your loved on or friend by paying their electric bill (over and over), you are most likely enabling them. Helping someone is usually characterized by doing something for them that they cannot do themselves while enabling them is doing things for them that they should be doing themselves. You can Help them, just don't enable them. Ask yourself, "should they being doing this themselves?". If so, take a step back.
If you decide to sit down and talk with your loved one about their drinking, you may not know what to say. You may wonder how they will respond. Will they get defensive? Will they deny they have a problem? Will they get mad at you and tell you to mind your own business? It's likely that they will. People with alcohol problems usually defend their use or make excuses for it. It's hard for people to admit to themselves that they have a drinking problem.
After you stop enabling them, they may see their problem as it is: an addiction problem. Once the individual recognizes they have a problem with alcohol the next step is to find the appropriate alcohol treatment program. Each and every program is different and it is important that the individual feel comfortable and safe in the program they attend. Ask questions and be sure you truly understand the treatment facilities methods of recovery and continue to help your loved one in their recovery process.
Enabling An Alcoholic - Know the Signs ALCOHOLIC
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