Addictions Hurt More Than Just the Addict - How to Recover From Living With an Alcoholic

If you live with or have lived with an alcoholic, you can recover from it. Addiction can hurt you more than you think. Remember, you can't fix a person. Your partner, spouse, parent, or friend must admit they have an addiction. Most alcoholics are in denial. They can't recognize and see they have a problem. However, you can take control of your life and heal from alcoholism. If you had a parent (or both) that was an alcoholic, it wasn't your fault. They had issues that had nothing to do with you. Chances are they had issues within their childhood that weren't resolved which led them to drink. Whatever you do, get help. Join groups, journal, and get counseling because you can recover from living with an alcoholic.

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Addictions Hurt More Than Just the Addict - How to Recover From Living With an Alcoholic

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Get counseling. You could benefit from counseling. Work with a counselor who'll help you to move forward with your recovery. If you keep lamenting about the alcoholic and how he/she affected you, it will keep you stuck. You want to understand your part. Why did you stay as long as you did with your alcoholic partner/spouse? How did your alcoholic parent affect your childhood? How do you internalize the affects of alcoholism? Children who grow up with an alcoholic parent(s) will benefit from counseling. They need to know it's not their fault; they didn't do anything wrong.

Join Al-Anon or some other support group. It may help you to join a group that addresses living with an alcoholic. You may benefit from knowing that you're not the only one who's lived with an alcoholic. The key is not to become stuck within your story. You're more than a person who's lived with an alcoholic. It's an experience that you can learn and move forward from them.

Forgive yourself. If you stayed with an alcoholic, forgive yourself and forgive the alcoholic. You may have stayed with an alcoholic partner/spouse because you felt guilty for leaving. Perhaps you had children and didn't want to break up the family, didn't have anywhere to go, or weren't strong enough to leave the relationship. Forgive yourself and the alcoholic who was in your life. You did the best you could as they did. If you grew up with an alcoholic parent, forgive yourself if you had 'negative' feelings. It was only natural. Forgive yourself if you blamed yourself for your parent's disease. Forgiveness can set you free!

Are you living with an alcoholic?

Living with an alcoholic can be challenging. Even though you love an alcoholic, it may be in your best interest to leave the relationship. What are you getting out of the relationship? What is it that makes you stay? How is it serving you? How healthy is it for you? Why do you think it's healthy? Ask yourself these and other questions to assess your reason why you're staying. You may have a fear that you won't find someone else or that you're abandoning the person. Do what's best for you. You may be doing more harm than good by staying in the relationship. Don't be an enabler. Get help and get out!

You can recover from living an alcoholic

You can recover from living with an alcoholic. Forgiveness is the key. Forgive yourself and the alcoholic. You're not condoning the action or saying, "What you did to me was okay," you're simply releasing yourself from the situation. If you grew up with an alcoholic parent, forgive them. They did the best they could at the time. Remember, it wasn't your fault. Chances are alcoholism runs in the family. If it does, you have a 90% chance of becoming an alcoholic. Of course, this doesn't have to happen. You can choose not to become an alcoholic. What will it be!

Addictions Hurt More Than Just the Addict - How to Recover From Living With an Alcoholic

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Addictions - Recognising an Alcoholic

Learning that your life partner or a close friend or family member is an alcoholic can come as a severe shock. This is particularly true when you have failed to notice that anything was wrong with them over a long period. However, you shouldn't blame yourself because the nature of an alcoholic is to be secretive and devious so as not to be caught out.

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In some households, it is normal practice to have a couple of drinks after work, wine with dinner and maybe even a nightcap. If yours is one of those, then it is even less likely that you will notice if someone is an alcoholic. The same holds true for couples or families who socialise a lot in pubs or restaurants or other establishments, which serve alcoholic drinks. In these circumstances, if someone seems a little tipsy occasionally, the assembled company will probably pass it off as "one too many", but what's going on when "one too many" becomes a daily occurrence?

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Unfortunately, the signs of alcoholism differ from person to person. Some can consume huge quantities of alcohol, without apparent ill effects, until one last drink tips them over the edge. Others will get drunk very quickly, on what appears to be a small amount of alcohol. However, don't forget they may actually have been drinking since early in the morning.

Some tell-tale signs are:

- furtive behaviour

- lurking near the drinks tray at odd times of day

- smell of alcohol on the breath at odd times of day

- undue irritability

- defensive responses to innocent enquiries

Some alcoholics are so sure that they have covered their tracks that they will do very strange things indeed. A prime example of this was a man who had two friends who were traffic police officers. His route to work each day took him past their police station, so he decided to drop in and join them for a cup of coffee. However, he had made one fundamental mistake, following his early morning drink of scotch; he had failed to cover up the smell on his breath. He was lucky; one officer took him home and the other drove his car. He could have been caught on the motorway, been breathalysed and lost his licence.

Another obvious sign of an alcoholic in the house is empty bottles hidden in strange places, for example:

- rarely used suitcases

- the very back of cupboards

- on top of wardrobes

- in the loo cistern

- in the shed or garage

Many alcoholics will insist on having a drink when there isn't really time such as just before leaving the house for a dinner party or last thing before bed, having been drinking all evening. If you try to stop them, they will become bad-tempered and argumentative.

When you become convinced that the person in question is addicted to alcohol, check with a few close family friends to have your suspicions confirmed. If they too believe that there is a problem, then there almost certainly is. When you confront the alcoholic, they will vehemently deny that anything is wrong, so it's as well to have a second opinion to bolster your confidence.

Well, you've done the easy bit; you've recognised that your friend or lover is an alcoholic; all you have to do now is get them to recognise it and seek treatment.

Addictions - Recognising an Alcoholic

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