There are certain personality attributes that are common among alcoholics. This is why traditional coping methods work for every alcoholic situation. One key to enjoying life while being in a relationship with a problem drinker is knowing what the personality looks like.
As we begin to understand who they are because of their addiction, we can start changing the way we interact with them. The best way to learn how to interact with them is from people who have learned how to be happy in the midst of alcoholism. Let's take a brief look into the life of an addict.
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Denial
This by far is the strongest characteristic we will find in any addict. The will all deny that they have a problem with substance abuse. Getting them to admit that they need help is not something that occurs through the use of persuasive words. The only way for them to really see the depth of their denial is when they decide to get help and quit. After they get sober and then look back at how much they were drinking, then they will see how much they were in denial.
Bending The Truth
You know how the story goes...we say; "how many have you had to drink?" Then they reply; "only three." Their response is made as they are stumbling around bouncing off of the walls. They will tell the little white lies and the bigger ones about everything. An addiction can transform the most honest person in the world into a lying thief.
Button Pushers
They are well accomplished in the area of pointing the finger at other's faults. This is why so many people involved in alcoholic relationships are in constant turmoil. For the most part, we never know when the problem drinker is going to hurl some sort of insult our way. They are just good at pushing our emotional buttons that cause us to react in negative ways.
Undependable
Most alcoholics have good intentions, but their desire for consuming alcohol is so overwhelming at times that it causes them to be undependable. Some have this personality attribute more than others. The sad part is that they will promise to do something and then never show up.
In twelve step groups, the first step says; "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable." Much of coping with an alcoholic successfully revolves around realizing that we are powerless over their choices to drink.
As we begin to understand more about the stereotypical alcoholic personality, it becomes easier to accept them as they are. As the realization occurs that we cannot control certain things about them, then it becomes easier to let go. It's like looking at someone with crooked teeth, we just accept that that is what they look like.
It's vitally important for us to see relationships with alcoholics exactly they way they are. This doesn't mean that we should not hope for the best and have great faith that things will change. What it does mean is that we must guard ourselves from being in denial of who the alcoholic "really" is.
Not every alcoholic will have all of the various personality characteristics common among problem drinkers. For instance, I didn't mention that some addicts steal things. Not everyone who drinks steals, but the majority of alcoholics don't think they have a drinking problem. Most of them cannot stop thinking about where and when they will have the next cocktail.
If you want to really learn about all of the various attributes that accompany problem drinkers, try attending a few support group meetings. I've gained an amazing understanding of what alcoholics are like and how to deal with them over the past thirteen years. Through attending support group meetings, real-life experiences, interacting with others coping with alcoholics and reading loads of books, I've become an expert at dealing with alcoholics.
An understanding of the personality of an alcoholic is not something that can be grasped through reading a couple of articles. It takes a commitment to get involved with support group meetings, reading literature and interacting with others coping with this disease to fully understand what this is all about.
Common Alcoholic Personality Traits ALCOHOLIC
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