"I don't have a problem with my drinking...you have a problem with my drinking!"
"Honestly, honey, I don't drink that much! You should see the guys I work with!"
ALCOHOLIC
Have you ever noticed that alcoholics are usually the last to realize that they have a problem? Why do alcoholics refuse to acknowledge their condition?
The answer can be uttered in one simple word - denial!
Denial is a key psychological symptom of addiction. Alcoholics continue to drink even after their world has fallen apart. They blame everything and everybody around them for their problems - except alcohol. Denial is a very effective tool for alcoholics to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. It is far easier to blame others for their crises and dilemmas.
What are the telltale signs of denial?
In the early stages of alcoholism, denial has an outward appearance of seemingly logical rationalizations.
o "I am not an an alcoholic. I am getting straight A's at school!"
o "I've got an excellent employment record and I haven't missed a day's work in five years."
o "Real alcoholics lose their jobs, houses and families. That has not happened to me."
o "It is part of my job, I have to drink."
As the disease progresses, alcoholics are very talented at projecting their problems on to other people or events.
o "I only drink because I have such enormous stress at work."
o "You'd drink too, if you had a wife/husband like mine!"
o "I would not have to drink so much if the boss would just get off my back!"
o "It's not my fault I got into an accident. It was the other driver's fault."
As the problems and crises accumulate, alcoholic denial takes the form of withdrawal and/or escape. At the very least, alcoholics are quite insistent that they do not require any type of outside help.
o "I'll stop drinking as soon as I leave this relationship."
o "I'll be fine as soon as I get away from this awful city." (This is known as a geographical cure.)
o "I'm not hurting anybody else, leave me alone."
o "I don't need help to stop drinking; I can do it by myself."
What can you do about it? What if someone you know and love has a serious problem with alcohol? How can you help them if they don't think that they have a problem?
The most opportune time to approach the subject is during a remorseful hangover period. If they feel sick, despondent and thoroughly defeated, they may be ready to admit that they have a problem. Ask them if they have a problem with alcohol and ask them if they are interested in getting help.
If they admit to having a problem and are ready to get help, there are several options available:
o Call Alcoholics Anonymous and arrange for AA members to come over and visit with them.
o Take them to an open AA meeting.
o Set up an appointment with a drug and alcohol counselor.
o Contact a treatment centre and ask about the admission process.
Remember that nothing can be done for an alcoholic until they want to stop drinking for themselves! If an alcoholic is quitting for their partner, employer or any other external factor, recovery is doomed right from the beginning.
There is a distinct possibility that you may have to wait until a serious crisis arises before they realize that they need help. Unfortunately, this usually involves them being physically injured, losing their job or being arrested. It is very important that you do your best to help an alcoholic get the treatment that they desperately require. However, this does not involve enabling their insane behavior or continually covering up for them. In many cases an alcoholic may very well have to hit absolute bottom before they are ready to seek help.
However, there is no way for them to ever hit bottom -- if there is always a soft place for them to land.
Alcoholic Denial: 12 Telltale Signs ALCOHOLIC
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