As a psychiatrist that treats a lot of addiction, I have worked with a number of families in which the husband is married to an alcoholic wife. When children are involved, the impact of having an alcoholic mom is tremendous. Recently, alcoholic moms have been getting more media exposure. Women alcoholics have different issues than men with an alcohol problem.
C.L. is a 45 year-old mom that has been drinking for over 15 years. Her alcohol consumption has gotten progressively worse over the last five to seven years. She has been to rehab twice and relapsed after treatment within a short period of time. She worked as a legal secretary for years, but decided to stay home when her boys were young. Her husband tells me he will divorce her if she does not stay clean and sober.
ALCOHOLIC
Her husband is tired of coming home to find her passed out on the couch. Her teenage sons are too embarrassed to invite anyone over. One of them told me that she has gotten "plastered" at several of his baseball games. He wishes she would not come to his games any more. C. L. has been married twice. Her first marriage ended due to her alcohol problem and now she is facing the possibility of losing her second marriage. She feels totally ashamed about her drinking, but also is uncertain if she can give up alcohol.
C. L. is an example of an alcoholic mom/alcoholic wife. She felt stressed from her first divorce and self medicated her feelings of depression with alcohol. During her second marriage, she felt pressure balancing her work and home life. She started drinking alcohol to cope with the stress. She eventually gave up working to be with her boys and also to relieve stress. However, at times she felt bored and isolated being a stay-at-home mom and she started drinking more alcohol. She also felt overwhelmed at times chauffeuring her two children to all their sports games and after school activities. Over time, her brain has become alcohol dependent.
Her marriage is on the rocks because of her alcohol problem. In turn, her marital stress contributes to her drinking more alcohol. It is a vicious cycle.
Women alcoholics feel more shame than alcoholic men. Your alcoholic wife has been drinking because she is dissatisfied at some level and does not know how to fill the "void" or ask for help. She desperately needs help. Alcoholism, if untreated, may end in death. You should know that women respond better to getting help for their alcohol problem if you are willing to get help for your marriage. She will require another possible stay at an alcohol treatment center (which includes detox), Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and possibly marriage and individual counseling to be successful in recovery. You will benefit from attending Al-Anon meetings where you can get support and learn not to be an enabler to your alcoholic wife. Living with an alcoholic is one of the toughest marital situations and often ends in divorce.
Alcoholic Wife - Dying For Her Next Drink ALCOHOLIC
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